That feeling when you know you are missing out on some special times. When it is your own fault that you are isolated. That because you have done certain things you are no longer welcome someplace. When you see pictures of somewhere you’ve been that you had to leave hastily. You miss the people, the beautiful scenery, the mission…
Sometimes, I remember and I cry. Maybe its just a sad feeling or a momentary realization of what was here and so quickly gone. I think it is important to stay close to our pain. I know it can cripple our progress but the distance from our mistakes shouldn’t be any less important with the passage of time.
Every now and then, on a Saturday night, my thoughts travel a great distance to a place I once was and that isn’t a part of my life anymore. I am saddened…and at times to tears.
When you miss God’s call and you make decisions that are wrong there is a long time to think about it. I think about it. I am sorry, but that doesn’t change the outcome. I just desire to recover and once again enjoy my life, apart from the pain.
Tonight, I cry. It will pass and return. The cares of life even crowd out the tears and emotions we feel sometimes.
I want you to know…I am sorry. I am working to be a better person.