I just want to take a fantastical moment right now. One of those little wishes we all make from time to time. There is nothing to hope that my wish could possibly come true but I will nevertheless make its utterance.
I am going to close my eyes and remove everything from my mind. Everything that has happened before or anything I fear in the future. I will stop worrying about tomorrow and regretting my yesterday.
All I want to do is stop the advancement of time. Thats all, very simple and direct, stop everything. The world…just freeze. Cease to function and wait for me to catch up.
You are good at making decisions for me, dragging me along in your ever spinning cycles of night, day and night again. I have had enough, leave me alone. You tell me when I am ready even if I know I am not. World, you have had control long enough. I command you to listen to my voice instead of drowning me out with your madness.
You can no longer steal from me; my peace, my joy, you’ve taken them but I want them back. This world will spin at my direction and at the speed I command.
I just need time to stop so I can think, make some sense of things, come to a level of acceptance. Until I do that you must remain still, don’t move.
Breathe…breathe in and out, slowly allow yourself to center and find your equilibrium. Self, consider that you are free from the bonds of time and only answerable to yourself. Think, process, account for, consider, mull, on the things important to you. Decide, move, answer, deliver, accomplish, conduct yourself and do it with expertise and grace. Stop, breathe…..
Ok , back to the shitty reality that is every damn day on this planet. Sucks.