Slipping into Neutral

The Coronavirus Pandemic has done a lot of things to a lot of people during the last few months.

I was on the brink of busting out of a long, dark period of life. Hopes renewed and motivated to get after it again. I was in first gear and accelerating, but now I am back to a virtual halt. Barely rolling and feeling like I am running out of gas, and this time permanently.

People lost their faith in me, and then I lost all hope in myself.

If I am not working I consume my time with mind dulling activities that serve no good purpose. I just can’t find it within me to seek another spark.

How fragile our lives can be.

How easy it is to lay down and give up, and how difficult it is to reinvigorate life once again.

I am in spite of this, relatively OK with life as it stands. It was hard to accept at first and in that I fought and lost so much mentally. I took time off life and gained a fistful of drugs to help me cope. And cope I will.

Life has me slipping into neutral, I guess it’s better than reverse.