Today

I have been off work for the last three weeks, and today is my last bit of freedom before returning. It has been a mental health vacation. No pay, just relief from the stresses of retail life in this Covid-infected year.

Today I am taking inventory. How am I doing, really? Have I made progress or just held my ground? Am I ready to once again face the reality of working on a daily basis?

These are all legitimate inquiries into my mind and being at this time. While it is true that life is more than making money, you really need to. I am several years from any meaningful retirement so I have to make this work.

It all begins again, today.

I am taking my meds, I have taken care of myself these last few weeks and now it’s time to plunge back into it all again. I have been considering a change in jobs, one that separates me from people more. But where to begin? Especially understanding my life has pretty much, except for about 7 years, been in the service industry.

I am bracing for tomorrow. It won’t be easy and I can’t just talk myself into being OK. I have a new therapist in the pipeline and a new psychiatrist due to mine leaving the provider I am with. It’s all in a days work.

So for the moment I am listening to Bach, typing away my concerns and moving forward tentatively. Today will soon be over and I will have to face tomorrow.

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