Rehash or Revive?

I am taking the day off from work and felt the need to write again. It has been many months.

I am writing because I couldn’t face working in that grocery store today knowing that I destroyed a great opportunity to walk in my calling by letting sin into my heart. I was fulfilling God’s calling. I blew it. But I refuse to believe that there isn’t another chance to rekindle the life that was extinguished.

There is a place that I want to find again. That sweet place of divine calling and beautiful relationship where all things come together for good.

First of all, I know I need some therapy, my dreams are often rehashing my mistakes over my lifetime. Poor sleep, always tired, something needs to happen so that I can get back on track and see my purpose revived. I need to get back in a good church, one that I can get fired up about, that has a vision for the real Christian life and reaching out to the lost who are looking for a home.

What they need to have is a vibrant and compelling worship program, one that I can join and add too. A place of strong Spiritual growth and accountability in which lasting relationships are built. Leadership that believes no-one is so hopeless that they are thrown away but redeemed for their calling, whatever it may be.

I am talking about myself too. My age is not so advanced that my effectiveness in ministry should be scoffed at. My heart, when it is in the right place, has a tenderness towards God and people that not only draws them in but leads them to Christ.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, maybe this overwhelming feeling will subside and I will revert to working at the grocery store and accept its daily routine. Or just maybe this day will be the catalyst for a revival of my heart and soul that will bloom into something beautiful for the sake of my Savior.

For every mountain to which we reach its heights, there is a valley low. Where will we spend it? In the valley or the mountain top?


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