I haven't written in a very long time, in fact I let my subscription lapse and I am back to a basic blog. I figured why spend the money on something I am not using. So forgive this rather brief and unadorned update. I am numb. I live in a miasma of nothingness. I work, … Continue reading It Has Set In
It has been another long break from writing, just waiting on a reason to put something out there. It's time. I have worked the last five years for a company that deals with the public. Every day was a new challenge and truly never the same. I was in a management position and had, in … Continue reading Healthy Changes
The boy was confused, the man is defeated. The question that plagues me is whether it was my giving up or just me flat-out not having a chance from the start? The final result, either way you look at it is the same. I have become known as a person who gripes and complains but … Continue reading Confused
It's not that depression is a giant mystery. If anything it is rather predictable. Today I am depressed, my wife asked when it started and I don't know. You see depression is always turned on, it is just a matter if the knob is at one, eleven, or somewhere in between. So I am dragging … Continue reading Understanding Depression
Right now, in our country, the debate is raging over who should be our next president. One of the most polarizing issues is based on the ever caustic arguments over abortion rights. Well, I am going to put a twist on this disagreement that you have never considered, and I am going to be very … Continue reading I Should Have Been Aborted
I have been off work for the last three weeks, and today is my last bit of freedom before returning. It has been a mental health vacation. No pay, just relief from the stresses of retail life in this Covid-infected year. Today I am taking inventory. How am I doing, really? Have I made progress … Continue reading Today
I dreamt last night that someone I used to know in my adult life sexually assaulted me. Now if you know my story you know it's one of abuse when I was a child and adolescent, so this is a new sensory experience. I woke up right out of the attack and so remembered it … Continue reading I Had a Dream
I am in the middle of a two week leave of absence from work. I needed a break from everything, I work in grocery. I was getting very angry with customers not complying with mask regulations. Due to the virus I was spending two to three hours a day outside, cleaning and sanitizing carts. I … Continue reading Pause Button
I am trying to figure out why I have a lack of motivation to improve myself, set goals, etc. Is it the meds used to calm my bipolar swings? It seems so. I have always gotten up when knocked down, every time. Until now. I think its the meds plus being 60 and pretty darn … Continue reading The Big 60
The Place to be Real 