Confused

The boy was confused, the man is defeated. The question that plagues me is whether it was my giving up or just me flat-out not having a chance from the start? The final result, either way you look at it is the same. I have become known as a person who gripes and complains but … Continue reading Confused

Understanding Depression

It's not that depression is a giant mystery. If anything it is rather predictable. Today I am depressed, my wife asked when it started and I don't know. You see depression is always turned on, it is just a matter if the knob is at one, eleven, or somewhere in between. So I am dragging … Continue reading Understanding Depression

I Should Have Been Aborted

Right now, in our country, the debate is raging over who should be our next president. One of the most polarizing issues is based on the ever caustic arguments over abortion rights. Well, I am going to put a twist on this disagreement that you have never considered, and I am going to be very … Continue reading I Should Have Been Aborted

Today

I have been off work for the last three weeks, and today is my last bit of freedom before returning. It has been a mental health vacation. No pay, just relief from the stresses of retail life in this Covid-infected year. Today I am taking inventory. How am I doing, really? Have I made progress … Continue reading Today

Pause Button

I am in the middle of a two week leave of absence from work. I needed a break from everything, I work in grocery. I was getting very angry with customers not complying with mask regulations. Due to the virus I was spending two to three hours a day outside, cleaning and sanitizing carts. I … Continue reading Pause Button

Summer Fantasy

Things have settled into a steady pace now. My medications seem to be working their magic by keeping me stable and sane. No great expectations but conversely no deep depression. It feels like the best things could possibly be. Maybe its just a beautiful summers day that helps. Maybe it is spending less time thinking … Continue reading Summer Fantasy

Self-care Deficiencies

One of the byproducts of childhood sexual abuse is the self-care piece. It's paying attention to and investing in good health and practices. I am legendary for not taking care of myself, whether its minding what I eat and drink to simple health maintenance. Today I am living with a very specific issue and that … Continue reading Self-care Deficiencies