I write a blog and I have to admit it can be pretty negative. I am sixty years old and trying to do things the "nice" way seems to be a futile venture. Admittedly a more sharply worded posture of me against the world might be a losing proposition. No one likes a negative nellie … Continue reading Civil Tone Please?
I dreamt last night that someone I used to know in my adult life sexually assaulted me. Now if you know my story you know it's one of abuse when I was a child and adolescent, so this is a new sensory experience. I woke up right out of the attack and so remembered it … Continue reading I Had a Dream
I am in the middle of a two week leave of absence from work. I needed a break from everything, I work in grocery. I was getting very angry with customers not complying with mask regulations. Due to the virus I was spending two to three hours a day outside, cleaning and sanitizing carts. I … Continue reading Pause Button
I am trying to figure out why I have a lack of motivation to improve myself, set goals, etc. Is it the meds used to calm my bipolar swings? It seems so. I have always gotten up when knocked down, every time. Until now. I think its the meds plus being 60 and pretty darn … Continue reading The Big 60
Things have settled into a steady pace now. My medications seem to be working their magic by keeping me stable and sane. No great expectations but conversely no deep depression. It feels like the best things could possibly be. Maybe its just a beautiful summers day that helps. Maybe it is spending less time thinking … Continue reading Summer Fantasy
One of the byproducts of childhood sexual abuse is the self-care piece. It's paying attention to and investing in good health and practices. I am legendary for not taking care of myself, whether its minding what I eat and drink to simple health maintenance. Today I am living with a very specific issue and that … Continue reading Self-care Deficiencies
This year has two stories that have consumed the media, Coronavirus and George Floyd. Important, yes, but deserving of all the attention, no. You see, when you make something THE story you ignore many other important topics. For me it is childhood sexual abuse. This is an anathema for me that it goes unreported and … Continue reading The Latest News Cycle
It saps you of the strength to accomplish anything. Let alone get up off your back and try. I don't have the ability to say more, I am exhausted.
I am surrounded by things I have put value on. My guitars, my stereo and records, my clothes, my electronics, all of it. Like you, I know that these things don't provide anything tangible in the way of lasting joy, peace, satisfaction, and security. Yet I pile them up in a vain attempt to fill voids, … Continue reading The Stuff