I Had a Dream

I dreamt last night that someone I used to know in my adult life sexually assaulted me. Now if you know my story you know it's one of abuse when I was a child and adolescent, so this is a new sensory experience. I woke up right out of the attack and so remembered it … Continue reading I Had a Dream


Being Too Nice

My wife commented yesterday that she was happy I got my meds adjusted because there is a palpable difference in my outlook and demeanor. For her sake I am glad. The truth is that this more acceptable exterior belies the continuing raging storm within. I suppose its good to think better about myself, not be … Continue reading Being Too Nice

Medicating is Medicating

Some will say you are a sissy or a loser because you medicate. Unfortunately, some things are so horrific that to survive, no matter how poorly, we mistakenly try to distract  from the immensity of its powerful death grip with whatever we can use to escape and indulge ourselves. I used to use pornography to … Continue reading Medicating is Medicating

I’m Sorry, I Don’t Have Time

Years ago I attended a small church and had for a long time. I was socially challenged, a loner with aspirations in a congregation of 70 people, four of which were my family. I desired to develop a relationship with the worship leader after having been a part of the team for several years. I put … Continue reading I’m Sorry, I Don’t Have Time

Among the Voiceless

It will never be very popular to campaign for the welfare of the sexually abused child. Unlike other causes which engender public demonstrations and extensive media coverage, it languishes in the shadows of shame and neglect. Children have no voice, and by the time they do it is often to late to even prosecute the offender. With the … Continue reading Among the Voiceless