Wrapping Up

Tomorrow will be my 6th day in partial hospitalization, it will also be my last one, for this stint. The structure has helped, hearing the troubles of others has too. Group discussions have created a sense of purpose by opening up to one another. We are helping each other. There is more help among the …

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Time is Not a Healer

This is an old wives tale, I can assure you. Only those who have suffered immense levels of unforgiving pain can tell you this. Through the maze of memories, nightmares and unknowns some are lucky, but time is more of a curse than a healer. As you live year after year, time only compounds the …

My New Do

In honor of my arrival at psycho/inmate status, I have shaved all my hair off. This is me in acceptance of what life has become and always will be.

Little…

Hopelessness is a dangerous feeling. It can poison and destroy a persons entire being. For me, I see hopelessness translate into a lack of motivation that has infected me from my mind right through my bodies individual molecule. Every possible escape from it is met with subtle yet powerful forces that strong-arm me into malaise. …

…a Real Life.

Over the years I have been subjected to some negative feedback for sharing my life, and doing so with an honest and sometimes raw viewpoint. This is my online journal, with nothing to hide and certainly nothing to lose. I don't just rant for the sake of ranting. I don't accuse unless I believe there is …

My Shrinking Life

We are all born into a whole world of possibilities, they lie right there before each of us. I am among the most privileged when it comes to my race and country of origin, and I also possess some amount of gifting and talents which were at one time the fulcrum on which my future …

..slipping…

Descending, ever so slowly, almost un-noticable...a little less engaged, less hopeful, more numb and faithless. Its harder to move, more difficult to smile and it feels like my extremities are gradually atrophying and withering away. I am shrinking within the darkness as the light continues to fade. My heart is becoming a stone and it …