Why is it…?

There are moments when life seems easy. Simple pleasures that block the pain and regret. Why can't they be more often and less sporadic. I just had a moment, it was a relief, it honestly felt spectacular. Just as quickly though it faded. Do you feel this way? I cannot believe I am the only … Continue reading Why is it…?

Ever-present

Like the sun, moon and stars there is pain. It is always with me. The only question is where the pain will be on any given day. It runs the gamut from emotional, mental to physical. Today has been a little of all, but mostly physical. I have had accidental injuries as well as those handed … Continue reading Ever-present

A Story…How He Loves

How He Loves Today... today I was reminded of this song and the story behind it, I was moved again. I felt emotions I haven't for quite a while. You might even say that it inspired me to make a move back towards God. It's been some time since we've spoken. Please take the time … Continue reading A Story…How He Loves

Where Is the Justice?

Why do victims of violence have to get over stuff? Why are those who perpetrate violence getting away with it? This is the essence of my post today. Those who've gotten over something wonder why others continue to struggle with it. They can't understand why someone who has been severely traumatized won't let go. Here's … Continue reading Where Is the Justice?

When Will I Find It?

I've searched high and low, spent decades in looking for "it", still it eludes me like a sad joke. So I lift my head on another day like most of those before it with being able to somehow get out of bed and make even a little something out of this thing called life. Problem … Continue reading When Will I Find It?

Should I or shouldn’t I?

When I write it is problematic for me. It causes people to either freak out or say good job. This is my open journal of life, my thoughts, intentions, my failures and fears. I am going to take a break. When and if I feel it is time to return, I will. If not, good … Continue reading Should I or shouldn’t I?

What day is it?

I've lost track of many things with memory issues increasing. I can only assume already bad memory circuits are further depleted by prescription drugs. I have been told that I am apathetic, life interests have faded to black, my choices are poor (although that's no news flash). Yesterday I watched a documentary on Netflix that … Continue reading What day is it?

A lesson from Kill Bill

A lonely person will make very poor choices when desperate for any sort of intimacy. Combine the loneliness with an inferiority complex and it becomes dangerous. Add to that a fear of intimacy and get ready for certain disaster. I am replaying in my mind the many situations in which I exemplified what not to … Continue reading A lesson from Kill Bill

this is why..

People kill themselves. There is nothing worth living for, more specifically, there isn't enough good to outweigh the incredible pain. I totally get it. The psychiatrist doesn't care, he gives you another med and says see a therapist. The process of even looking for a therapist is daunting and intimidating, and you are in no … Continue reading this is why..