Not Safe

When the wounds are deep, no amount of getting away will fix the pain. This must be understood or triggers will be constantly ignited at every little thing. There is no escaping the injuries which lurk just below the surface. No comment is safe, no sunny day is immune. It is the curse of mental … Continue reading Not Safe

Where Is the Justice?

Why do victims of violence have to get over stuff? Why are those who perpetrate violence getting away with it? This is the essence of my post today. Those who've gotten over something wonder why others continue to struggle with it. They can't understand why someone who has been severely traumatized won't let go. Here's … Continue reading Where Is the Justice?

Day to Day

It all runs together, the emotions and beliefs I direct toward myself. agony numb angry frustration fear failure contempt guilt shame frozen doubt anxiety worthless used embarrassed diluted hopeless abandoned unloved dirty spent loathing decomposing unfaithful untrustworthy stupid These words speak to me, swirling in the undercurrent of my mind. Beyond the Tinnitus ringing constantly … Continue reading Day to Day

Imagine a world..

Today, I heard a little piece on NPR about a zero carbon city. You know, all the imagination of a city and eventually a world free of all the demonized power we rely on today to survive. A future that exists currently and primarily in our minds, though we are making some minor strides toward … Continue reading Imagine a world..

Should I or shouldn’t I?

When I write it is problematic for me. It causes people to either freak out or say good job. This is my open journal of life, my thoughts, intentions, my failures and fears. I am going to take a break. When and if I feel it is time to return, I will. If not, good … Continue reading Should I or shouldn’t I?

The Slow Crumble

I have a history. I was born into a sexually abusive family and the scarring hasn't gone away. I am a quintessential example of the long term-effects of trauma on a child and adolescent. It has poisoned every aspect of life from my goals and aspirations to every single relationship, significant or otherwise. There was … Continue reading The Slow Crumble

Hypocritical or Just Plain Confused?

People today are less hypocritical and are more realistically faced with the conundrum of what to do with their lives. I collect old vinyl. I got started just a few months ago and posses about 225 albums of mixed genre. Everything from Glen Campbell to Ozzy Osborn, the Monkees to Led Zeppelin, Sinatra to The … Continue reading Hypocritical or Just Plain Confused?

Don’t You Forget About Me

We live in a society of tragedies, abuse, wickedness and perversion. This is nothing new though it is undoubtedly more widespread than it once was. Mankind continues a decline into self-serving hedonism which will eventually consume all that is good. Every day there is more news about some segment of people being sexually harassed, tortured, … Continue reading Don’t You Forget About Me

Bipolar Signs…

If this were a criminal investigation, the research would be starting to reveal the truth. As I analyze the data and look at the evidence, a clearer picture is developing. In the daily, grind it out story of a life, are the signs one is expecting to discover. People having a manic episode may: People … Continue reading Bipolar Signs…