Betrayal, the Gift that Keeps on Giving

There is a reason people don't stay together after a betrayal, every day is a constant reminder of the dirty deed. Whether you are the betrayer or betrayed its ever-present and only a moment from escalating any situation. Today I was reminded of my deed of shame, its like a knife that's permanently stuck in …

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I Shoulda Stopped Chewing on those Guitar Knobs

We have a cat by the name of Kona. She is a full-blooded cat that comes with all the characteristics of same. She likes to claw everything, she loves to attack Asia, our other cat, with zero provocation, and she has a particular taste for the knobs on my bass guitar. For that reason I …

Time is Not a Healer

This is an old wives tale, I can assure you. Only those who have suffered immense levels of unforgiving pain can tell you this. Through the maze of memories, nightmares and unknowns some are lucky, but time is more of a curse than a healer. As you live year after year, time only compounds the …

Should I or shouldn’t I?

When I write it is problematic for me. It causes people to either freak out or say good job. This is my open journal of life, my thoughts, intentions, my failures and fears. I am going to take a break. When and if I feel it is time to return, I will. If not, good …

The Day That Life Stopped

It was a Sunday just after Easter, when everything came crashing down. You'd think that putting it in the rear view mirror, even years later, one would move on. But some things aren't moveonable-even after the passage of time. So I am stuck in a Groundhog Day type of life. I know many of us feel …

Detoxing from Church Culture and Starting Over

I spent nearly 20 years in a church that did a lot of damage to my faith, I call it the "cult church" now. It was a non-denominational church with certain practices and legalistic oppressions that stifled and stunted the lives of many, while a few lorded their power over the rest. I was manipulated into subjection and disciplined …

Finally accepting my reality, and that’s a good thing!

(For specific information about childhood sexual abuse, its repercussions and counseling practices, see the following link:  The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse: Counseling Implications )   It's not that I haven't been aware of the results of long-term sexual abuse, it's just that I have had this unrealistic expectation to be free from the adverse …

The Real Me…

Is often afraid Is sickened by my sin Feels useless sometimes Doubts loves truth Feels so alone at times Sees dark things in his mind Fears failure Carries deep shame Feels very old Is misunderstood Has lost his passion   The Real me... Will not go quietly into the night Refuses to give up, and …

Healing Trust Breaks

I read a quote today that said this: "Trust is like a piece of paper, once it is crumpled up it can never be in its original shape."  No, that symbolic piece of paper will never be the same, but it has the potential to be wholly better than ever. Heres why... First, I want to be …