It is This Month

It always feels like another shoe is going to drop. There isn't any extended peace or joy. I live on the edge of something I cannot describe but it isn't a pleasant place to be. All good is temporary and the pain is the tie that binds. I don't feel like I belong, anywhere I … Continue reading It is This Month


Returning to a Civilized Existence

In just a couple days I will mark the one year anniversary of going into treatment for depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. At that time I had lost all hope, I had given up, my life had caught up with me and this time I listened. I was suicidal, desperate and at the lowest point … Continue reading Returning to a Civilized Existence

The Art of the Deposition

Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I am keenly aware of the legal proceedings against the Catholic Church. It came to light in the early 2000's that there was rampant and unchecked sexual abuse of minors worldwide by priests. Last night I watched nearly three hours of a former priests testimony when he was … Continue reading The Art of the Deposition

Mental Health Documentary

Stress is the classic ailment of the 21st century and accepted as part of our working lives. In fact, stress is generally perceived as a barometer of success. Dynamic professionals seem keen to publicise the fact that their lives are blighted by this modern anguish. In contrast to socially acceptable moaning about minor stresses and … Continue reading Mental Health Documentary


I saw my psychiatrist today and got one of my scripts added back in for now. They were wanting to wean me off it, but its short half-life caused increased depression. Thats good news. Also on a positive note, the short-term disability provider got me back up to date. They had fallen four weeks behind. … Continue reading Update

There is a Road that Leads too…

I have been in treatment a few times over the last several months. It's in light of the horrific shootings that have taken place over the past 24 hours that a couple of questions I was asked then, are relevant today. Daily you are asked many questions related to your current frame of mind while … Continue reading There is a Road that Leads too…

The Nagging Feeling

When I was in treatment, a therapist said that suicidal thoughts are most likely with us for the rest of our lives, it's finding ways to deal with them. A good position to have, yes, but I am finding it difficult to force them into the background. Last night having done some light reading on … Continue reading The Nagging Feeling

Wrapping Up

Tomorrow will be my 6th day in partial hospitalization, it will also be my last one, for this stint. The structure has helped, hearing the troubles of others has too. Group discussions have created a sense of purpose by opening up to one another. We are helping each other. There is more help among the … Continue reading Wrapping Up