Sorry, but No Forgiveness For You!

Now that mental illness has risen up and taken a bite out of my life the negative nellies are fewer. Especially those calling for an issuance of grace to the perpetrator of sexual abuse on me. People love to tell you you need to be forgiving when its your issue but when it’s there’s? Yeah, ’nuff said.

How about we get a little more graphic here and see if this argument holds up eh?

Whats say we put your father in your bedroom at night feeling around in the dark for your private parts. Whispering through his gums, sans dentures, pleading for cooperation so he can satisfy his warped and perverted desires. Let’s stop there and not go into all the lurid and horrifying details of half a dozen years.

Now, are you so quick, once standing in my shoes to say, “ah, never mind, all is forgiven, how about a nice hug!” Haha I didn’t think so.

Every bit of my mental illness is exacerbated by those years so long ago. You cannot tell me to simply forgive. I won’t. As I sit here in a dazed, medication induced haze trying to snap out of it I am reminded of how I got to this place. It just makes me angry. The decades lost too feeling I was the one to blame. The dreams crushed, the hopes dashed.

Yeah, back up the train and keep your religious solutions to yourself. I won’t forgive that person for destroying everything good.



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